Hey my name is Mud and I punch dogs.
My early days were spent trying to avoid the bigger trees in my yard. Often were various grubs and roots that are small about could unearth. This you might say has set me up in life for not very much.
Tonight I had a kebab and some small plastic toy soldiers for dinner.
I have 2 gold fish: 1 called Terrance and 1 called Turnip.
Turnip doesn't like Kevin, but as they stay out of each other's way, life aint hard.
You may ask "who's Kevin?"
This has nothing to do with you and as such will remain my secret.
I have never had a chance to collect stamps... This upsets me. I do however have a large collection of small shoes. 47% of them are left ones.
Things I like:
The noises small kids make when you hit them and they fall down (old people make much the same noise.. Strange that?!)
I like my sock Franco and he likes me.
I like 2/3rds of rice krispys in a packet (the rest can go to hell)
Carving novelty animals from vegetable roots.
Girls with no standards, morals or self-esteem.
Midgets (yay for little people, they make me feel big)
Really creepy people who follow you about.
Things I dislike:
Balloon animals, it's not a giraffe, it's a bent up balloon!
Fat people that aren't jolly (fat people have to be jolly, it's the Law)
Girls who think too much (well of course you're not gonna wanna sleep with me if you think about it)
Kittens that come apart when you kick them.
Materialism and not having enough stuff.
Double standards (I can have them but you can't)
Small stones with sharp edges.
I am highly intoxicated 90% of the time of my existence.
Nice o meet you all.